Transparencies.

As the day winds down,
There is a sense of relief
And also dread
Soon I'll have to face what I fear the most.
Time
The time to think, to remember.
Time to lament.

I walk home briskly,
Hurriedly treading this familiar path.
But my destination brings something unfamiliar.
I ache for home, but I fear it too.

Why am I rushing?
There's no soothing voice to ease me
No perfect embrace to comfort me
There will be no sinking into your gorgeous body
There's no warm kiss to melt me

My arms slide around the ghosts of your lovely waist
I smell whispers of the scent of your skin and hair
Each time I did I had my eyes closed
I was somewhere else
In my absolute utopia with you.

I won't be resigning to the bed to lay down with you
To gaze into your beautiful eyes
Talking for hours and hours, never once losing interest
Never wanting to stop listening
Never wanting to stop taking you in
I can't get enough of you. Please, more.

The clock would strike 9, maybe even 10. We'd hadn't even had dinner.
We'd been lost, talking to each other. Yet again.
We'd been loving our best friend,
It would fill me with joy each time,
Even if our day had been bad.

But now it's just a memory.
Nothingness greets me when I twist the door handle open.
Instead of you there is just darkness,
Nothing but my memories of you
A transparency over this painful emptiness.